Food, Faith, Family & Frugality

I am amazed at how much money I was making while I was in the Air Force and how much I seem to have wasted.  The truth is that I had a lot of unnecessary bills.  Bills for things that I did not need and could not seem to let go of.  I had a house that I was losing money on each month.  My justification for keeping it was my fear of it being vacant and having to pay a mortgage on an empty house with no rental income.  Well, when the thing started falling apart, I said, "Enough." and put it on the market...cheaply, so it would sell quickly.  It went under contract within a week, but the buyer's financing fell through at the last minute so we put it on the market again, and again it went under contract it about a week.  This time it worked out.  Overall, I lost a lot of money on that house, but I made about $14K by the time the money was distributed.  I paid off my van, a trailer I got stuck with during the divorce, and paid off a credit card.

Anyway, I have come to realize that it may not be a bad thing not having the income I had.  I actually seem more in control than I did back then.  I would buy things on credit because I didn't have the money for them.  In contrast, I haven't purchased anything on a credit card in ages.  If I can't pay cash for it, I probably don't need it.  It's a lesson I should have learned in my 20s or 30s, but I guess better late than never.

Also, I was once a snob.  Not a serious snob, but I cared more about what people thought.  I bought things I didn't need and spent money I just didn't have.  I am looking forward to being more conscious in my spending in the future.  My next job probably won't be making me rich, or even comfortable as I had imagined, but I think I will be better off than expected.

I know that a lot of quiet moments are in my future.  Darrin is almost out of the house and before I know it Danielle will be a teenager herself and no matter what she says now, she will not have time for me the way she does now.  That's okay.  I took the critters outside, more or less to put a few things away in the shed that I left on the back patio, but also to get the puppy to burn off a little more energy before it became completely dark.  He got a little curious and went beyond the edge of the back yard into the woods that lies beyond.  I could see him some of the time, but he would not answer.  I'm not so sure what was holding his curiosity, but I could see it getting darker by the minute and was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Danielle that I lost her puppy.  Thankfully he came out when he was good and ready.  Shelby stood at my side.  She is seven and listens to me so well, that sometimes I really believe she understands what she is saying and not just listening to the inflection of my voice--did I say that right?  Anyway, if that is the case, then Presley does not even know his name.  Considering he weighs all of about seven pounds right now, the idea of him getting lost is very real.  At least he is white, so I could sort of pick him out in the dense brush and woods most of the time.

We found a snake in the yard several days ago.  It wasn't huge, but it was scary.  Although I've lived in the country for a couple of years, I'm still not a country girl...I don't know my snakes.  One of Darrin's friends said it was a copperhead, but my friend looked at it on the cell phone and said it was too big and the wrong color for that.  He thought it was a moccasin that came up from the creek that runs through my yard.  At any rate, now I can't help but worry about snakes.  People did warn me, but as long as you don't see them, they really don't exist.  Or at least that's how my logic covers such things.

Anyway, it is now completely dark and not even seven in the evening.  It's not too far past six thirty actually.  Alll the critters are here with me now, and only my children are out.  Darrin won't be home until late, and I still have trouble falling asleep without him being in the house.  When I do it's because I'm exhausted and I'm still incredibly guilty over it.  Danielle is at the corn maze in Pontonoc on a Girl Scout outing.  I should enjoy the quiet more, I know.

I'm gong to try to get it together.  I have been eating so bad the past few days and I'm not really sure why.  Maybe even now sweets comfort me.  I guess it's better than being a strong drink that does the trick.  Anyway, just woke up, drank my Spark, took my Catalyst and MNS and going to try to do things right today.  If I keep putting this sugar in my body, then my body will start to crave it again and I will have started that vicious cycle again.  I'm also going to make it to the gym today.  Lots of housework and laundry to be done as well.  There is a little guilt involved...someone who is not working should have a much more organized home than I have right at the moment.

I am also feeling a little bluer (is that even a word) than usual.  I have had a lot put on me this year, I know that, but I also know that some people have to deal with far worse things in their lives.  I don't have any major drama going on in my life, and everyone is reasonably happy and healthy.  Someone once told me that any problem that could be solved by money wasn't really a problem.  At one point I believed that, but now I'm mixed.  I still think of that when things get really difficult.

While I was in Afghanistan last year I was checking my regular Yahoo e-mail account and through that discovered that an 11 year old girl in our church had died from meningitis.  I think in the span of two or three days it overtook her body completely and she went home to be with the Lord.   Before this happening, I had started dealing with a series of major problems with a rental home I owned in San Antonio, Texas.  The A/C unit completely died.  There was a leak that needed to be identified and then fixed, all the flooring in the house had to be replaced.  My renter left.  They found termites....it goes on but you get the picture.  Anyway, the point is that when I heard about this little girl passing, all of a sudden that house issue didn't seem like much at all.  That house could literally implode and while I might have gone bankrupt, the people I love in my life would be healthy.  I completely understood that concept.

However, not having a job, having a family and having bills (including a new mortgage) makes me re-evaluate those words of wisdom.  I think I really do have a problem, but a lot of people have it worse than me.

I am trying to stay on the healthy side of life and am a little confused about gluten, which I knew enough about to know that it had to do with wheat and that was about it.  When I did the cleanse phase for the 21 Day AdvoCare Challenge, it was very specifically directed to eliminate dairy, breads, and refined sugar from the diet during this period and to avoid them during the rest of the challenge.  I basically kept this in check by eliminating dairy and returning to my beloved Vanilla Silk...yes, I love the stuff!  I think I actually prefer it to milk.  The next rule I enforced on myself was no bread and basically nothing white.  When it comes to bread and sugar, I'm a little like an alcoholic.  If I eat one cookie, I'll eat six, or maybe twelve.  I can't seem to have just one no matter how hard I try.  Therefore, for me it's always easier to just not start eating in the first place.  It was interesting that after the cleanse phase, my body seemed to 'detox' from these vices and I had no cravings.  Of course, a taste here and there has put me back in danger, so I'm really watching it right now.  For some silly reason, I baked a cake about a week ago (posted the recipe here, too) and ate a LOT of it.  What can I say?   It was sooo good.  But, I knew as I was baking the thing that I was going to end up eating it.  I just knew.

Anyway, the whole wheat and bread issue caused some confusion to me.  I knew it had to do with gluten.  Oats were actually listed on the sample diet, so it definitely wasn't a carbohydrate restriction.  Therefore, just to educate myself I looked up gluten.  Here is a link that can explain, although I'm sure if you don't want to click on it you can go to Wikipedia and search it there with similar (or maybe better) results.

http://whatisgluten.net/

Okay, so many might look it and think getting this puppy was like shooting myself in the foot. After all, it's 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Danielle is still snug in her bed and I have, for the past hour or so...time escapes me at the moment....been woken up by the crying puppy, taken him outside and walked him in the cold October air, cleaned his crate where he apparently either couldn't hold it or wanted to teach me a lesson, and then just snuggled with him when it was all over. He is now curled up and resting with his little body snuggled against my side.

I was looking for a picture to put on here. I realize if you want a picture of an animal I own or my daughter, there are more than enough to pick from. However, if it's me, it's difficult to pick. If it's my son, even more so because he seems to hate me taking pictures of him when he's around. Since he's going to be 17 in just a few weeks that isn't too often.

Yummmm! Perfect way to enjoy the fall weather.

Well, the interesting thing here is that I'm currently unemployed...and looking. Hopefully this won't last too long. So, right now I'm trying to be positive and take a little extra time being a better planner, cook, homemaker, mom...you get the picture. Today I'm in the middle of trying to figure out some new recipes to try AND we just got a new JRT puppy yesterday and I feel like I have an infant again. I have that sleep deprived headache this morning and my motivation is zero.